Monday, July 26, 2010

If the Devil Wears Prada, Jesus should too

Hello. My name is Chad. And I'm addicted to incredible footwear.

I'm not saying I'm a shoe whore like my dear friend Matt.

I am - but that's not what I'm saying. My shoe issue (I get points for NOT saying is-shoe, like I really really wanted to) is that a measurable portion of my life revolves around shoes.

Shoes make me feel happy. Shoes can make me feel sad. Most importantly: shoes help me see how douch-like the folks I encounter daily are.

Once again I should mention my thoughts on flip-flops. If you have a nice pair, wear them. Wear them sparingly though. Wear them when appropriate. Volleyball game? Yes. Picnic in the park? Yes. To a job interview at the bank? No.

Also - by "nice" pair of flip flops I mean they MUST be made of natural fibers. No foam. No rubber. If you got your flip flops out of a bin for $2.99 - you should probably kill yourself before I do because I will make it slow.

I feel now is a good time to relate a story.

Picture it: Last week I was helping my soon-to-be brother-in-law move some furniture. My sister and I were the best dressed in the storage compound (not a difficult feat). Davey? was wearing flip flops.

Chad: Hey Davey. I'm glad to see you're wearing your heavy duty flip flops to move furniture.
Davey: Hey. Jesus wore sandals and he moved furniture. He MADE furniture!
Chelsea: Jesus wore sandals. Not flip flops.
Davey: Flip flops ARE sandals!
Chad: Not Jesus sandals. Jesus didn't get his shoes out of a bin at Payless.
Chelsea: Jesus probably had a woven leather sandal. Maybe with a sling back.
Chad: A "mandal" if you will.
Chelsea. Right.
Chad: I don't like mandals either. But who am I to judge?
Chelsea: You're a good person to not judge Jesus.
Chad: Thank you. I am.
Davey: ???

Haha. You can tell Chelsea and I are related. You can also tell that Davey will probably be eaten alive by us within a year.

I should probably confess to something right now. Because Matt is a huge shoe whore I have discovered that when I want to buy shoes I can buy them for Matt. That way I get the thrill of shopping/trying on without the whole selfish feeling/buyers remorse problem! (Also - I know that if Matt should die in an industrial, mannequin-making accident before I can give him shoes, I get to keep!)

These? Are what I got Matt for his birthday.

Now can you see why its a confession?

But I love Love LOVE them!!


  1. you are so crazy about flip flops! I think I'll wear a nice shiny pair of rubber havaiianas today ;) love you! ( I love them too!)

  2. I will admit that I am a little crazy about flip flops. But it's because society has made me that way.
    Thanks to the fact that I live in Colorado - a state where there IS no such thing as making a good appearance. This place is full of people that wear pajama bottoms to the store, sweat pants outside of the gym, and flip flops - YEAR FUCKING ROUND despite the fact that we A) don't have beaches and B) do have snow.
    Flip flops are the embodiment (in my mind) of doing the very bare minimum with yourself. If you don't want to look good for yourself, at least try to look good for me people.

  3. ha! you crack me up...I think we were born in the wrong climate!

  4. Here are my thoughts:

    A) I agree totally with Chad's reasoning, but I am a hypocrite because I wear work...but only once and I was embarrassed.

    B) I think that David needs a pair of those shoes too for the winter.

    C) I'm pretty sure that David will be the patron saint of shoes with Jesus and his woven mandels. Just because of Chad.