Have you ever been at home alone so long that you start to have real conversations with your pets? Sure I can call family - they are at work, or I can call one of those late might date lines - that'll go over well with my spouse. So easier to just talk to the animals. I figure we as pet owners go through years and years of feeding, bathing, walking, and scooping, we might as well get something else in return.
For example: I have 3 small dogs and 2 cats, that's a lot of work. I figure that between the 5 of them, one of them (or a team) could figure out how to make me dinner once in a while. I ask Olive, my 1 year-old wiener dog if she wouldn't mind throwing together a simple meat loaf, salad and mashed potato dinner (like the one you'd always see in a Garfield comic strip). Once a year, that's all I'm asking. I mean if dogs can be trained to sniff out illegal drugs in a high school, why not train them to make creme brulee, or do the dishes?
Or I ask my cat Oreo if he wouldn't mind giving me a full-body massage for once - I pet him everyday, think he cold return the favor? No, he would rather shred the woodwork in my crappy rental condo. So much for the deposit.
I guess this is what I get for being out of a job, home alone, talking to my pets. Look on the bright side, I haven't started to talk to the furniture yet.