I'm trying to finish writing a scientific research article for publication.
For those of you who have never had the opportunity to do so . . . don't.
Writing scientific b.s. is a pain in the hooha. Remember in school when you had to write long LONG essays about stuff you just don't care about? Remember how agonizing it was? If you were like me you found yourself trying SO HARD to get through it.
I recall a high school discussion and debate class I took. My teacher gave us an assignment and I don't know what it was. It's not that my memory is bad - more likely I didn't know what the assignment was at the time. All I remember is that instead of showing up and giving a presentation like the rest of the class I created a 1 page flier to pass around to everyone illustrating my point.
"Save the Binturong" was my subject.
To make my assignment even more questionable? My "work" (1 page flier) didn't even really contain any information. I believe I had pictures of Golden Age film stars to whom I gave dialogue bubbles to promote the binturong.
Me: Why, hello Mrs Gibson. Here's my assignment!
Mrs. G: What is thi- - -
Me: I hope you notice that it's on time this week!
Mrs. G: This is just a picture of an animal.
Me: It's a binturong. I'm campaigning to save it.
Mrs. G: Is that Marilyn Monroe next to it?
Me: Yes. Yes, it is. She really takes this issue to heart.
Mrs. G: " . . . a binturong is a girl's best friend?" This isn't - - -
Me: And you? Are welcome!
Yeah. I'm not sure how I graduated.
To make matters worse. This assignment? (Or as I like to call it: My Binturong Debacle) was a team project! That means I was able to find someone just as motivated as myself to do as little work as possible! (Cue my cousin, Melissa. Laziness must be in our blood.)
I think we were hoping that our teacher would think we were suffering brain damage. Perhaps from a gas leak at home. And give us pity Cs.
I think she did.
ANYWAY. That's the same level of motivation I'm having right now.
I spent almost 2 years doing research. With recent news relating directly to the topic of my article this is the perfect time to submit. AND if I don't there's always the risk that I'll be "scooped". That means that someone will print my findings before I do. Because I'm unmotivated. Also - I think because I just used the word "scooped" I am an Ashlee Simpson (Who falls between Victoria Beckham and Kevin Federline on the douchebag continuum).
Well, I suppose I should get back to what I was doing . . . looking around my apartment trying to determine which of my inanimate furnishings like me the least. (I think it's the chair in the corner.)
Wish me luck.
**Cousin Melissa, if you should happen to read this would you help me come up with a plan? This is for publication, so we're going to have to pull out the big guns. I'm thinking it's shoebox diorama time.