Thursday, August 26, 2010

Why Yes, I DO have this much time on my hands . . .

For the record - the phrase is "Don't judge a book by its cover" - it doesn't mention anything about accepting it unconditionally.

This is why I feel so justified in doing what I've done to the book I bought today. . .

I love David Sedaris. So when I stumbled upon this book in a used bookstore today I had to purchase.

Sadly - it wasn't Sedaris' name that caught my eye, but the absolutely HIDEOUS cover.

Call me shallow (okay - I kind of am), but I'm a sloooooooooow reader, which means I'd be carrying around the unibrow twins for an uncomfortably long time.

I don't deal with unibrows, or any other form of body hair very well.

A fellow zookeeper at work named Jaime refuses - REFUSES to shave her legs, yet insists on wearing shorts. After considering the most tactful way to approach the subject I said "Jaime! When are you going to shave your damn legs?! You're making me sick!!"

At first she said I was jealous because she had nicer legs than me. I told her to try again because she has legs like a ninja turtle.

So Jaime said she wasn't A) trying to impress anyone and B) uncomfortable with her bushy legs.

Oh, HELL no. If I'm uncomfortable - She will be too.

I slipped out of the back door of the animal rearing room and crept through the empty hallways on our slowest day at work. Collecting other employees as I went I finally came back to the rearing room with an army of educators, custodians, and gift shop staff.

Jaime turned around and was surprised at the people I had collected. She was probably also confused until she saw what I had brought them back for. To see Jaime's hairy legs.
See you guys! I told you she wears short jeans shorts with long loooooong leg hair. Look close!!

I treated Jaime like a sideshow freak.

Uncomfortable yet, Jaime?

(This may sound mean - but she had it coming after the umpteenth time she told me I was going to hell for various reasons)

So yeah. I'm not going to deal with the unibrow.

So I replaced the pictures. With black and white pictures I had stored somewhere in my email folders. They happen to be of Natalie and Matt.

And this? Is what I do with my days.

Well . . . and I got some peanut butter FroYo (AMAZING)

1 comment:

  1. awesome problem solving ;) but where's MY photo?!