Monday, January 24, 2011

Spit it out, spit it out!!

Yesterday while at work I got to enjoy some cake!


Delicious cake! Left over from a birthday party somewhere at the other end of my building. This happens almost daily. Cake cake cake.

Sooooo . . . because I see cake on a very regular basis you'd think I wouldn't go crazy when I see it. We're talking shark-near-chum crazy. My eyes roll into the back of my head, I unhinge my jaw, etc.

Back to yesterday at work. I'm sitting at my lab table getting ready to eat cake with Amber and Troy. While cutting the cake a little chunk fell from the plate and onto a petri dish. I picked it up and ate it. Amber and Troy stared at me.

Chad: What??
Troy: Did you just eat that out of a petri dish?
Chad: . . . ummm . . . no . . .
Troy: I just had tarantula molts in there.
Amber: I just had bedbugs in there
Chad: . . .

It's a fact that your mouth is the dirtiest part of your body (dirtier than even your rectum!) so I feel like my mouth was probably dirtier than that petri dish cake.

In addition to standard bacteria found in the human mouth . . . (**ahem**)

There was the time I was cleaning out storage cabinets at work and found a tea bag and thought "I need to make me some tea!". It tasted like something that would leak from the bottom of your fridge when the power is out.

There was the time I was helping Zahra clean out her purse and found a mini toblerone that she had been holding on to like it was a savings bond. Chocolate probably shouldn't crumble. It should melt in your mouth, not bead up and roll around on your tongue.

Then there was the time Matt and I removed all of the interior from his '72 Beetle. I found a mint in the floorboards and promptly ate it. It fizzed in a hurty way. And Matt looked like he was going to finger sweep my mouth like he was my dad and I was a two year old that was eating a quarter . . .


At least I've moved up to eating old/dirty sweets and left behind my problem of kissing things I shouldn't. Enjoy (while I cringe) exhibits A, B, and C

Dead Squid in a disection lab.

Stuffed Brown Bear in a sports bar in Lodo.

Patrick Casto.*

*(It was St. Patrick's Day - of course drinking was involved)


  1. Hahahahahaha!

    Oh my goodness Chad! I have no words for you.

    Fabulous. Thanks for making my day FANTASTIC already.

    Sorry about the cake. BTW: Have you played Portal? You would totally be the guy who listened to the computer promising Cake throughout the game.

  2. Even though that kid was kind of a jerk, i will most likely rub one out to that picture! I'm glad you're blogging again, cuz now i can watch you without you knowing it (since you refuse to grace me with your presence, i'll have to resort to stalking!) Ciao bella!