Dear Rachel Ray:
We've put up with your cooking, your 30-minute meals etc. etc. But enough is enough. I can't go to the grocery store or a department store or drive down the highway without seeing your grinning face and muffin-topped mom pants. You don't need to show off every molar when you smile. And seeing you on TV is worse! Will somebody get that woman a lozenge?
So do us all a favor Rachel, you've made your mark, made your money - let's give someone else a chance...please.
Sincerely,
Matt
Oooooh! Can you possibly follow this up with an open letter to anyone who uses the acronym EVOO.
ReplyDeleteThe three syllables you save when replacing "extra virgin olive oil" with EVOO are not worth the shame you should feel when spouting out such forced short-cuts.
Stop it right now or Chad will pry up your fingernails one at a time with a Rachel Ray endorsed shrimp fork.
. . . OR, as the gravel-voiced chubsy wubsy would say:
SIRNOCWPUYFOAATWARRESF
(okay - I guess it does kinda roll off the tongue)
Oh, sadness reaches my heart.
ReplyDelete