Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I'm ALL Kinds of Spicy!!

I could have titles this "Chad's Guide to Not Being Vanilla" - but I made the declaration "I'm ALL kinds of spicy!" tonight, and I was so pleased with myself that I thought I either owe it to the world to have t-shirts made up or use it as my new blog title.

So just a quick thought on what I call "vanilla". Vanilla is the adjective I assign to something that is generic, dime-a-dozen, nothing special, etc.
I'll bet you get my meeting by now. Vanilla= lacking in character. It's the anti-conversation piece!

That being said, I
should say that vanilla is necessary in everyones life. Without the vanilla your spicier things won't have as much pop. It's like clothes! Have a shirt with a wild pattern to go with your plain pants.
Too much wild pattern and you aren't that much more amazing, you look like a douche. (unless you're extremely funny - then you're Rodney Dangerfield from Caddyshack. And that is a best case scenario)

So kiddos - here's my list of things that I suggest you try to add some flavor to.

1. Your car. This is my most important one. It doesn't have be super awesome and sexy like a vintage muscle car. Look at VWs! Classic beetles, buses, karmann ghias, etc. Their cheap, fun to tinker with and everyone on the face of the Earth will take notice of it and probably talk to you about it (sometimes that can get annoying. Just because you had a VW at some point in your life doesn't mean we are new best friends. Ah, the burden of having a car with character)
2. Your house. Before anyone calls me out - I TOTALLY live in a vanilla house. Even worse - it's in an extremely vanilla neighborhood. I'll remedy this soon, my friends, I just have to get some of my to-do list accomplished first. Anyway - you can never go wrong with a vintage house. Hardwood floors, skeleton keys, lead paint?! Hell-o!!!
3. A quarter of your wardrobe. Like I said before - any more than that and you could end up looking like a lion ate a parrot and threw it up - - - all over you. Lets face it, no one wants to have sex with someone that they can't look at for more than 10 seconds without getting dizzy. Also - loud does not equal fab. Small subtle things can turn vanilla into mint chocolate chip! Just ask my favorite accessory - a silk black tie with a little spider embroidered on it. That little guy has some panache!

Now go out there, my friends, and be your caramel mocha selves!

No comments:

Post a Comment