Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Now Kitchen, Point Out On This Doll Where the Bad Pastries Touched You

I'm somewhat domestically challenged.

It's not that I don't know how to cook (I don't) - its that I hate the task of grocery shopping. If I'm going to go shopping it's NOT going to be for produce or frozen meats. Grocery shopping = painful for me. So my kitchen is pretty barren.

Shall we begin my photo tour? Yes.

I used to keep shoes in my oven at my last place - but after someone came over and decided to make me dinner and almost ruined them I have decided I'd rather risk my Organic Chemistry textbook than my beloved Ferragamos.

Lets pull back a smidge and get a lookie at my kitchen. It's immaculate. Not because I clean much. Honestly, I forget its there half the time.

Wanna see the contents of my refrigerator? Okie!

Maybe you're assuming I keep my food in dry good form? You're right!!!

See there! That's a box of oatmeal in that cabinet! Woooooooo!!!!

Wanna see the epitome of how pathetic my kitchen is? My silverware drawer. It would be empty except the day I moved in Matt got me top ramen. So I took a fork from my sisters house. I put a fork in my pocket because I knew that while I have almost 100 pair of shoes I have no eating utensils.

I have no issue with eating at home - I just never have anything in my house to eat. Until tonight.

Karen and Josh. The loves of my life - sent me home with enough pastries to feed a truckload of teamsters for a week. My poor kitchen has had its cherry busted. If it could it would probably take a rape shower.

My kitchen is most likely very confused with this new development. Probably doesn't know what to make of it. Like when a baby boy first discovers his penis.


  1. I love it. But if Clayton comes for a visit, you'll steal a spoon from Chelsea's kitchen and get some cream cheese right?

  2. I'm a little worried right now, shall we discuss? Okay!
    A} if someone turns on your oven, you'll be in a world of heat-I mean hurt. An explosion? Possibly, but those damn text books cost more than my liver would sell for.
    B}You Mention Josh and Karen gave you all the baked goodness...
    C}David mentioned you stopped by with some apples for the dogs (what, are they horsies?)
    D}Which leaves me to believe that your starbucks chums ALSO gave you said apples, because I know they sell them...And the ONE healthy food item you received, knowing your kitchen is a baron oatmeal,milk,ramen land, you fed to the dogs?!
    E}ummmm that is all :)
    love you!

  3. Melissa - if by "spoon" you mean "ladle"
    then yes, yes I will!

    Chelsea - Alright, Miss Smarty! I bought Eva's apple at the museum at the same time I bought my lunch, which was another apple, a plain dry bagel, and an orange juice! So there!! ;)

  4. Ummm... Chad?!?! Is that you?!?! It's like I don't even know you anymore... questioning of pastries?!?! I do believe your kitchen better shape up or ship out... cause pastries are a staple of the Chad I know! (even if that means the pastry is there as something to test your AMAZING will power… and yes that means the ability you have to keep from crawling in the pastry case daily is AMAZING will power)

  5. Ok...I didn't realize the severity of the circumstances in which you have constructed for yourself. I thought when I moved out (on my own if that is ever going to happen...maybe if I'm wealthy enough I can have my own pad apart from my boy...) I would have a barren wasteland for a kitchen. You have topped the expectations I left for myself. One fork? WTF mate?!?! I think Karen and I are going to have to work alongside Zahra and the others of your life to assist you in overcoming your complete discouragement of grocery shopping. I think I'll have to create a 10 step process for you to begin with.

    By the way, the first action is to remove your texts from the oven. That's just dangerous and I don't believe your landlord will appreciate a guest of yours burning down the building. Just saying.

    And by the way, I enjoyed your little note. Look forward to the next installment really soon here. Possibly within the next hour or two...

  6. Josheleh, couldn't I just unplug my oven?? It seems easier.