Friday, December 4, 2009

The "Matt" Diet

You may be asking yourself during these holiday times: "how do I keep from becoming 'festively plump' with all of these holiday parties?" The answer: The Matt Diet.

See I am 6'1" and weigh a mere 155 lbs. - well within my BMI.

Do I exercise - no. Do I take harmful diet pills - no. Do I eat what I want - yes.

Example - Today I ate:

1 Oberto cocktail peperoni stick
1 one-pound bag of steamed edamame
1 PBJ (double PB)
1 cup of tea
1 cup of coffee - black
1 Banquet chicken pot pie

An example week might look like this:

Sunday: general snacking a grazing - eat a lot of sunflower seeds and drink a lot of coffee

Monday: Don't eat anything until 3:00 PM. When you do eat, mostly sugar, carbs and fat. I.e. burger, fries and coke. Eat more sunflower seeds in the evening.

Tuesday: Eat at 10:30 one microwave burrito with hot sauce. Join Chad in the afternoon for some BW3's or Hooters boneless wings. The wings provide much needed protein and fat and the capsaicin in the wing sauce gets your metabolism going. Drink another 25-30 fl. oz. of sugary soda.

Wednesday: Only drink coffee or tea. Eat 2 big Snicker's bars after 4:30 PM. Do not chew any gum. Ramen in the AM is okay.

Thursday: Go to McDonald's and eat 4-5 $1 Hot 'n' Spicy McChicken sandwiches or McDoubles, small fries and a small Mr. Pibb with plenty of ice. DO NOT USE A STRAW!

Friday: 1 meal - Pizza and Beer - eat 'till you're full. Don't mix German beer with American. One or ther other. Eat one slice of strawberry rhubarb pie.

Saturday: Full lumberjack breakfast. 2 chocolate chip pancakes, real butter, syrup, 4 strips bacon, coffee, 3 egg omelette with cheese and onions and green Tabasco on top, 2 pieces of buttered toast. Also eat what Gina doesn't.

*feel free to add BBQ sauce to any of the above foods.

Have you ever heard the saying: "in the morning eat like a king, at lunch eat like a prince, and at dinner eat like a peasant"? Well, how about stop gorging yourselves America?! Eat when you are hungry and stop eating when you are full!

I am not a medical doctor, but I haven't stayed this thin and trim NOT eating like this my whole life. People ask me how young I am and they are astonished when I tell them the truth - 26. Everyone else who's 26 has gained 15-20 lbs. since high school. Not me - perpetually young.

So try the Matt Diet - if you dare to look 15 your whole life.


  1. You had me at PB&J with double PB!!
    I'm going to try you're diet and see if it has different affects than MY diet. It's similar to yours, except I don't look like I'm 15 as much as I look like Fred Mertz (from I Love Lucy) going on two days with no sleep . . .

    Don't worry - I'll document my struggle ;)

  2. Do it and let me know how it works Chad, cause I know... Even looking at two snickers I would gain so much weight my ankles would disappear!!