Thursday, January 21, 2010

FreeCreditReport.com Now Offers Free Trial of Shame

Commercials.

I don't have a television for the time being - but I still somehow stay current on tv commercials. Usually I don't notice them - they're just a form of background noise and I need background noise. But every so often a commercial rips my attention away from what I'm doing for one reason or another. Here are my #1 commercials . . .

#1 Commercial that makes me "Happy to be Myself!". And by myself I mean not a complete fucking idiot. Are you kidding me, Taco Bell?!?! You can't pretend like you're a good option for a weight loss system when you've also created a "fourth meal" for people who need an excuse to consume calories at the absolute WORST time of day to do so. You can't! You fucking CAN'T! Taco Bell? I wish you were a person with real live feelings so I could slap the shit out of you and tell you you're fat and ugly.

Me: Joan Crawford armed with searing hot, wrought iron clothes hanger.
You: Little bitch daughter who puts her clothes on wire hangers. Oh yeah, without the use of your limbs.

Basically, Taco Bell - I want to massacre you.

video

#1 video that makes me "Ashamed of Myself". Freecreditreport.com? What are you doing to me? Why, oh why would you have such a catchy jingle? Not "a dollop, a dollop of Daisy" catchy - but Lady Gaga catchy.

I want the Freecreditreport.com song on my iPod. Is that wrong? I know it is. I hate myself.

That being said - I've always been one to own my nerdiness - so I've you take issue with my unadulterated love for "hello, hello, hello . . ." then you can go blow yourself. :)

video

Hee hee.
Love you.

P.S. Don't tell anybody that I love the freecreditreport.com commercial.

P.P.S. Maybe it's already gotten out. (not sure how)

P.P.P.S. Hmmmmm . . . maybe that's why I'm perpetually single?

P.P.P.P.S. Don't tell anybody that I'm perpetually single.

2 comments:

  1. Done, done, and done! And by the way, it's not that bad to like the freecreditreport.com commercials. They market them that way and I admit that I LOVE them too. They are ridiculously catchy and won't leave your head once they've established themselves. And poor poor taco bell. Like anyone's going to truly believe Taco Bell is good for you. Beyond having a cheap taco when the mood hits you.

    I do need to pay more attention to the commercials that go flying by on my Tivo. That might be beneficial to understanding the current issues plaguing out great nation. (Teehee)

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  2. Right?! These are hard hitting issues that CNN wont even touch! Have you seen Anderson Cooper trudging through a Taco Bell drive-thru in Prada? Because I haven't . . .

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