While my friend, Karen is watching Channel 7 News and laughing at journalists for making up words like "courageousness" I was two channels away having the proverbial rug pulled out from under me. I had come to find out that Nazis are doing good just North of metro Denver.
It seems that the American Nazi Party wants to make the world a better place and they're starting off by cleaning up the side of the road. Highway 85 - which connects Denver to Brighton, our sticks neighbors to the North - has been, and will continue to be, cleaned and maintained by the world's most famous advocates for eugenics.
I feel cheated. Robbed.
Every day when I wake up I feel assured that no matter what unforeseen things are in store there are a few constants in the world. One of them is that Nazis aren't picking up roadside trash without shackles and orange suits.
I'm not just disoriented with this news, I'm a little sad. I find comfort in the black and white and Nazis as the ultimate villain was very black and white. No gray areas here! The Nazi regime is responsible for an estimated 9-11 million merciless deaths since their first appearance. Furthermore, they took the idea of eugenics to form the idea of a plausible "super race" of humans. That's all. Nazis = bad.
No gray area. No "Nazi's are pretty bad . . . but they also do some good . . ."
I like my Nazis crazy. I like them with thick german accents (virtually slaughtering the letter "R" and not even grasping "W"). I like my Nazis with their SS garb and foaming at the mouth. That? gives me someone I can whole-heartedly hate with no question.
These "new Nazis"? They must be up to something. Their official statement to 9 News was
"The goal was to get together as a group of like-minded individuals, enjoy each other's company and camaraderie for the day, enjoy some warmth and sunshine and we got lucky in that respect, and clean up some things. This just kind of took off from there. I don't know why boy scouts don't get this kind of notoriety, I mean, they're an awesome group."
What. The. Fuck.
What's next? Is the KKK going to release a statement saying that they are no longer burning crosses, but "lower case t"s for tolerance?