Monday, January 18, 2010

Is Ignorance Contagious?

I'm aware that stupdity is. I provide evidence. Have you ever had a super smart friend that begins to hang out a lot or date someone really stupid? They get stupid too! It's bizarre.

But ignorance? I'm not sure, but I'm becoming wary, that it will rub off on me one day. One day soon, actually.

Today at work someone was telling Matt about how they have a a high tolerancy for pain. I don't claim to be any kind of genius when it comes to the English language - I'm not entirely sure what a preposition is, or when to use who or whom - I pretty much write like I talk. A massacre to English grammar.

But I did graduate high school and I know when people are making up words. Tolerancy? Is so not a word.

Look, douche - you want to talk about a high tolerancy for pain? It's defined by the act of listening to you talk without taking two pencil and shoving them into my ears until they start to bleed.

Because I'm kind of a dick, one of my favorite past times is making fun of these people. Like Kenny - a guy I went to school with that regularly used the word "offenseful". I'd make fun by mocking him. Constantly. To his face. Like I said - I'm kind of a dick.

What I'd do is find something I could use an an example of offensive behavior - then I'd retell they story about the predetermined offense and I'd pepper my statements with "offenseful". Kenny not seeing any problems would sit there and not. (Totally agreeing with me. "That is offenseful!") Then when he would turn his back we'd all snicker.

Here's where I'm concerned for my vulnerability to catching Kenny's blissful ignorance. I use the word "offenseful" as much as I can when I'm around him (dick). Is it just a matter of time before I use it when he's not around? Just out of habit? I don't want people hearing me say a made up word if I'm not using it to mock Kenny!

Gasp! What if that's how Kenny started out? Now look at him! I don't want this to happen to me! It's time I do some catching up on my English. I'll probably have to use Matt as my tutor because he's the type of person that gets all sassy and in your face if you say "on accident"

Matt: It's ON purpose and BY accident!!!
Chad: (peeing myself a little) oh. I'm SO sorry. Please don't hit me.

I graduated from the same college as Matt, on the same day in fact - but it seems that he paid more attention than I did.


  1. I suppose if you don't want ignorance to spread, you could do a service to the ignorant and CORRECT THEM when they perform a falacy: emphasize the word TOLERANCE around Kenny. Then think about for whom you are providing this service: for him, for you and for all mankind. PS the education system is failing people; many second year English students don't know how to write a paper! As much entertainment as that added to the class, I secretly wept for the future.

  2. First thing first: Shmamessa, these students' inability to write and use the English language properly only allows for the rest of us to take control of the world and shape it for the better. Perhaps we can write the laws that bans their rhetoric from infesting the social norms. Just an idea....

    And Chaddy, darling... Your humor is beautiful! But I do agree with Shmamessa: please correct them. It will help my ears too. And besides, if you are worried about these blasphemous words becoming part of your vernacular, then stop using it all together. By all means make fun of them to their face in a way they KNOW you're making fun of them. I know I deserve such treatment if I use improper words (And boy howdy do I have people to put my head back on straight a manner of speaking...perhaps I should have said 'put my head back on correctly' instead of straight... Teehee). However, I do love to hear of such stories! LOVES IT!