Monday, January 11, 2010

When in Rome….


Yesterday I realized something. People take the saying: “when in Rome, do as the Romans do” WAY too seriously. For example, I was on my lunch hour from work, sitting at a McDonalds, getting a piece of chicken and a Coke. Not 10 feet in front of me was a 40-something man sitting next to his wife. The man and wife were waiting for their child who was burning off some McDonald’s-induced energy in the playland. And what better way to utilize this time? Clip your fingernails. When did it become socially acceptable to trim your fingernails while sitting at a restaurant? I’m not talking one little snaggly hangnail, I’m talking trimming all 10 digits above the table, with fingernail trimmings ricocheting into all directions. Mmmm….I’m lovin’ it. Sure it is just a McDonalds in Westminster, but come on people!

In the past I have used the “when in Rome…” saying for such adventures as going to Boulder. The uber-liberal (and annoying) land of hippies, pot, JonBenet Ramsey, Jessica Biel, Celestial Seasonings Tea, Tesla Motors, CU, and hippies. What better way to go to Boulder? In a rusty brown VW Bus! It works great. You blend right in, you can achieve your errand and return to reality unscathed.

Or if I was going to the Westminster mall to go to Sears – sure I’d go to WhatKnots and then patronize the store that consists entirely of gumball machines. Then swing by Spencer's for a tasteless keychain. When in Rome!


  1. Gross. At least he wasn't working there- imagine where a rogue nail clipping would end up in the kitchen. (god, I hope that was a sesame seed...)
    anyway. I try to do as the Romans do, but it always backfires on me. Example: remember when I showed up for my first gym session eating a home run pie? I anticipated fat people and my home run pie would bring us all closer together. Turns out they all hated me for licking chocolate pudding from a glazed crust while they were trying to sweat it away...
    I guess it's all Greek to me ;)

  2. this reminds me of the time I was riding the Zero bus and an obese woman shawshanked her way into the "seat" (about 4 inches of seat) next to me whilst shoveling one of those fiesta style hungryman tv dinners into her face! she was an episode of Hoarders all by herself!